End of an Era

Yesterday marked the end of an era for me. After 6 and a 1/2 years, I left my job in Atlanta. I started working there at the ripe age of 21, and much has happened in my life since that day. SC played a major role in my life, and it was hard to let it go, but I knew it was time.

Getting out of debt and eliminating stress is allowing me to work part-time, so I had to choose which job I wanted more. My non-profit work is rewarding, pretty well stress-free, and allows me to meet new people and enjoy various experiences I would otherwise not have.

The Atlanta job was remote, which was very convenient; however, I am also moving, and my new home does not allow for a work-from-home deal. And I must be honest, I couldn't handle the work anymore.

It was a fairly simple decision. The difficult part was saying goodbye to something that was an important part of my life for so many years, not to mention the wonderful people I worked with during that time.

After working my last shift from home on Tuesday, I drove down to Atlanta yesterday to turn in my badge & equipment, and to say goodbye. Life being what it is, I knew in my heart I likely wouldn't see these people ever again, with the exception of a precious few. So I made my rounds, and gave them what was in my heart. There was nothing to lose anymore, and so there was no fear of rejection. Each and every one of them is precious in the sight of God, but He wants them to KNOW Him: His love & mercy, His life, who He is. Time is short, and we are not guaranteed tomorrow. This is the message I tried my best to convey to those I spoke with.

Until you walk in a place like this, you just don't realize this life is temporary, and that there is eternity after this short experience. Death is an idea to most people; it's not real. To me, death is very real, but mortality is not something to fear. If we are where we should be with the Lord, death can be beautiful, and something to look forward to.

So I walked into that building for the last time, and I can only pray the presence of the Lord remained when I walked out that door. He is inside of me, and HE is what I want to leave behind wherever I go, like a footprint in the sand.

The end of one chapter, and the beginning of the next...

Consultation

Thursday I went to Atlanta for my consultation with a GYN Oncologist. She did a basic exam, and talked to me about the next step, which is a PET scan. I'll be going back Monday for that scan. After that, I'll have a follow-up with the Dr within a week for her to give me the results of the scan, as well as her recommendation on how to proceed with "treatment." As I have already stated, I will not submit to chemotherapy. The Lord will not allow me to, and I don't want it. I have not decided whether or not I would agree to surgery (radial hysterectomy). I am seeking the Lord, and I will only do it if I feel a peace about it. Peace always comes when I make a decision according to the Lord's desire.

The results of the exam: She could clearly see the large mass coming from the cervix. From her assessment, it doesn't look like it has spread outside that immediate area. The PET scan will show if there is anything else in my body. I had originally thought my GYN had removed the entire mass during the D&C surgery, but that was incorrect. She only removed part of it. The oncologist will officially "stage" the cancer once she has evaluated the results of the scan.

The oncologist told me this is an aggressive cancer, which can spread quickly. Well, I serve a mighty God, and He can be pretty firm & aggressive when it comes to healing the sick and casting out demons. I know this from my own experience, and what my eyes have witnessed.

I have no fear of cancer, nor do I fear dying. I KNOW, without a shadow of a doubt, that when I die I will be with Jesus. However, I don't want to leave this world in this way, by sickness. I'd rather die a martyr, or an old woman asleep in her bed. I know that my God heals, and that He withholds nothing good & holy from those that belong to Him.

To everyone who reads this: You are all precious to the Lord, and He wants each of you all for Himself.

I want to put a very important question to each of you, for you to ponder when you are alone:. Do you know Jesus?

I mean really KNOW Him? Is He truly LORD and MASTER of your life? Do you consult Him about every decision you make? Do you talk to Him throughout the day? Do you act like Him, & talk like Him?

Before this experience, I never had a real relationship with the Heavenly Father. Coming so close to death as I did, and as I am now, has opened my eyes. I see things very clearly. There is an urgency in me now, that I've never felt before. There is an urgency to get to people to tell them the Truth about Jesus, that He alone can save them and deliver them from the hell they are putting themselves in. There is a strength in me, that I know is not my own, but that of God! There is a holy fear in me, for people who are lost. There is a strong desire in me now, to be Holy, to be separate from the world. I belong to God, and I can't look like, act like, eat like, or sound like the world.

Please, search out your hearts, seek your salvation with fear & trembling. You are not promised tomorrow. You do not know if your soul will be required of you this day. DO NOT WAIT. You may never get a chance to make right, to deal with the darkness of your past. DO IT NOW!!

The Lord is patiently waiting for you, but there will come a day when He will wait no longer, and He will come back for His people.

I love you all, and I fear God too much to NOT tell you the truth that is burning in my heart.

Lord Bless You all with His mercy and LIFE!