One Step At A Time

So much has happened since my last post, per usual.

Things got pretty bad for about a week.I was in severe pain, I wasn't eating, and I was very weak. I thought I was going to die, and in fact I wanted to die. I had lost the will to live. There was so much heaviness, and the spirit of death was very real.

Everything has since changed. My body is still very weak from being in bed so long, but I have to fight through the pain so that I can walk again. I'm done with being sick, but it's up to me to get out of bed and fight. The more I get up and move, the easier it gets. I'm now able to get around without the walker, and I am trying to stay out of bed all day.

As I submit to Him, the Lord is delivering me of the bondage I have been under this last year. All I want is to obey the Lord and His word. I give Him all control over my life.

This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it! Praise God for His ultimate mercy and compassion!

2014

2014 has been quite a year, with so many changes. If you told me last December I would be here right now, I would have laughed at you.

It all started with putting my house up for sale. Two weeks later I sold my car, and I had 2 buyers for the house. Three weeks later, a cancer diagnosis. September brought the sale of my house and a big move. October brought unemployment.

These last few months have been difficult, life-changing, and a major learning experience. The Lord has brought me through so much, and He continues to be my rock and my strength.

I know I am right where I'm supposed to be, and I'm excited to see what 2015 will hold. I'll continue to take each day as it comes, as the Lord leads.  

Looking Up

The Lord is so faithful! It's been over a month since my last blood transfusion, and it looks like I won't need one anytime soon. I am getting stronger each day, with more energy. Now I get bored during the day because there's nothing to do (smile). Just a few weeks ago it didn't matter because I just slept all the time. Now I want to go, and do.

I am not dying, I am being healed. The Lord is doing a work in me. He said He will do it, and that's what I put my trust in. His will is for healing, not death. Jesus wants only good things for His children.

So full am I! Full of the love of God, the life of God. Full of energy.

Alright Lord, what would you have me to do today?

Death and Life

Quite a lot has happened in the month of October. The first week of the month, I was re-examined by the doctor, and told I have 6-12 weeks to live.

Hearing that brought many emotions and many thoughts, so much that I had to cry out to the Lord for peace. And there came the peace, just as He promised.

I have since made the appropriate arrangements for my funeral, which I believe is in order as I don't want my family to be burdened by such decisions. Everything is already in place and ready to go. Other members of my family went ahead and made their arrangements too, which is a very good thing.

Only the Lord knows when we will take our last breath. I do not live on the doctor's time-table. My Lord Jesus is a great healer. He holds me in His hands, and I trust Him completely. I know in my heart I will be healed. 

You see, in the beginning, I had to get myself in a place where I was ready to die. I wanted to be ready spiritually, emotionally, and naturally. Now that I am ready in all these areas, I am able to focus on the Lord Jesus for healing.

It's funny really, getting a death sentence, because I've already died - to this world. And yet I've never felt more alive, now that Jesus lives within me.

Also, I've had a few opportunities to speak this month, giving my testimony to family, friends, & strangers. I've got two more speaking engagements coming up too, one at a women's church group, and another at an outreach for addicts. Wherever the Lord sends me, I am willing to go.

I don't care what the doctors say, they will see a miracle! My Lord promised, and He is ever faithful!

"No guilt in life, no fear in death

This is the power of Christ in me

From life's first cry to final breath

Jesus commands my destiny

No power of hell, no scheme of man

Can ever pluck me from His hand

Till He returns or calls me home

Here in the power of Christ I'll stand"

In Christ Alone

Moving Forward

My last visit with the oncologist went very well. She explained where the cancer showed up on the scan, and what my options were: radiation combined with chemotherapy for 5-6 weeks. Surgery is not even an option at this point.

Next, I explained to her why I couldn't go through with such treatment, because my body belongs to God. Knowing what I know, in the spirit and in the natural, I cannot put that poison in my body. After thorough research, I went to the Lord with it, and felt no peace about taking the treatments offered. When I made the decision to forego treatment, I felt an overwhelming peace.  This I explained to her, and ministered to her about my relationship with the Father, and the work He has for me to do. She said she respected my decision, and that was it.

I do not expect to die, I expect to live. However, I want to live as though I were going to die very soon. Going through the motions isn't going to cut it anymore. I want to serve my Lord with everything that I am and all that I have. Cancer has no place in the plans my Heavenly Father has for me.

I'm doing what I know to do in the natural: eating healthy & staying active, keeping away from the foods that feed cancer. That is in order, though the healing doesn't come through that. I'm simply helping my immune system do what the Lord created it to do. The healing comes from the Father, and Him alone.

Moving forward, I will keep pressing on and do the work He called me to do. The time is short - we are living in the last days. I want to get to as many people as possible.

Alright Lord, where are we going today?