Sidewalk Prophets

I love this song! The words are what is important, so I've posted them here. From my heart to yours...

"The Words I Would Say"

Performed by Sidewalk Prophets

It's Three in the morning
and I'm still awake
so I picked up a pen and a page.
And I started writing
just what I'd say
if we were face to face

I'd tell you just what you mean to me
Tell you these simple truths

Be strong in the Lord and
never give up hope.
You're gonna do great things
I already know
God's got his hand on you so
don't live life in fear
forgive and forget
but don't forget why you're here
Take your time and pray
These are the words I would say

Last time we spoke
you said you were hurting
and I felt your pain in my heart
I want you to know
that I keep on praying
Love will find you where you are

I know 'cause I've already been there
So just hear these simple truths

Be strong in the Lord and
never give up hope.
You're gonna do great things
I already know
God's got his hand on you so
don't live life in fear
forgive and forget
but don't forget why you're here
Take your time and pray
These are the words I would say

From one simple life to another
I will say
Come find peace in the Father

Be strong in the Lord and
never give up hope.
You're gonna do great things
I already know
God's got his hand on you so
don't live life in fear
forgive and forget
but don't forget why you're here
Take your time and pray
Thank God for each day
His love will find a way
These are the words I would say. 

End of an Era

Yesterday marked the end of an era for me. After 6 and a 1/2 years, I left my job in Atlanta. I started working there at the ripe age of 21, and much has happened in my life since that day. SC played a major role in my life, and it was hard to let it go, but I knew it was time.

Getting out of debt and eliminating stress is allowing me to work part-time, so I had to choose which job I wanted more. My non-profit work is rewarding, pretty well stress-free, and allows me to meet new people and enjoy various experiences I would otherwise not have.

The Atlanta job was remote, which was very convenient; however, I am also moving, and my new home does not allow for a work-from-home deal. And I must be honest, I couldn't handle the work anymore.

It was a fairly simple decision. The difficult part was saying goodbye to something that was an important part of my life for so many years, not to mention the wonderful people I worked with during that time.

After working my last shift from home on Tuesday, I drove down to Atlanta yesterday to turn in my badge & equipment, and to say goodbye. Life being what it is, I knew in my heart I likely wouldn't see these people ever again, with the exception of a precious few. So I made my rounds, and gave them what was in my heart. There was nothing to lose anymore, and so there was no fear of rejection. Each and every one of them is precious in the sight of God, but He wants them to KNOW Him: His love & mercy, His life, who He is. Time is short, and we are not guaranteed tomorrow. This is the message I tried my best to convey to those I spoke with.

Until you walk in a place like this, you just don't realize this life is temporary, and that there is eternity after this short experience. Death is an idea to most people; it's not real. To me, death is very real, but mortality is not something to fear. If we are where we should be with the Lord, death can be beautiful, and something to look forward to.

So I walked into that building for the last time, and I can only pray the presence of the Lord remained when I walked out that door. He is inside of me, and HE is what I want to leave behind wherever I go, like a footprint in the sand.

The end of one chapter, and the beginning of the next...

He Said, She Said...

I wanted to use this post to share some of my favorite quotes. My FAVORITE quotes are scriptures, but these rank a close second... 

ENJOY! :)

"Life's not about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain!"

-Vivian Greene

“When Christ calls a man, he bids him come and die.”

-Dietrich Bonhoeffer, The Cost of Discipleship

“Silence in the face of evil is itself evil: God will not hold us guiltless. Not to speak is to speak. Not to act is to act.”

-Dietrich Bonhoeffer

“Time is the most valuable thing that we have, because it is the most irrevocable.” 

-Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Letters and Papers from Prison

“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at a time of challenge and controversy.”

-Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

“Feed your faith and your fears will starve to death.”

-Anonymous

“Oh, my friend, it’s not what they take away from you that counts — it’s what you do with what you have left.”

-Hubert Humphrey

“Fear can keep us up all night long, but faith makes one fine pillow.”

-Philip Gulley

"The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen."

-Elizabeth Kubler Ross

"What Cancer Cannot Do"

Cancer is so limited...

It cannot cripple love

It cannot shatter hope

It cannot corrode faith

It cannot destroy peace

It cannot kill friendship

It cannot suppress memories

It cannot silence courage

It cannot invade the soul

It cannot steal eternal life

It cannot conquer the spirit"

-Author Unknown

"I do not live each day expecting to die, but I live each day as though I were going to." 

-Charity A. Adams :)

Moving Forward

My last visit with the oncologist went very well. She explained where the cancer showed up on the scan, and what my options were: radiation combined with chemotherapy for 5-6 weeks. Surgery is not even an option at this point.

Next, I explained to her why I couldn't go through with such treatment, because my body belongs to God. Knowing what I know, in the spirit and in the natural, I cannot put that poison in my body. After thorough research, I went to the Lord with it, and felt no peace about taking the treatments offered. When I made the decision to forego treatment, I felt an overwhelming peace.  This I explained to her, and ministered to her about my relationship with the Father, and the work He has for me to do. She said she respected my decision, and that was it.

I do not expect to die, I expect to live. However, I want to live as though I were going to die very soon. Going through the motions isn't going to cut it anymore. I want to serve my Lord with everything that I am and all that I have. Cancer has no place in the plans my Heavenly Father has for me.

I'm doing what I know to do in the natural: eating healthy & staying active, keeping away from the foods that feed cancer. That is in order, though the healing doesn't come through that. I'm simply helping my immune system do what the Lord created it to do. The healing comes from the Father, and Him alone.

Moving forward, I will keep pressing on and do the work He called me to do. The time is short - we are living in the last days. I want to get to as many people as possible.

Alright Lord, where are we going today?

TEST Results

Wow! What an eventful few days it has been! A lot has happened since my consultation last Thursday. I've been truly tested in many ways since all of this began. But now I'm in a place to lose everything, as far as material things go.

First, I got a signed contract for the sale of my house! We are set to close on September 8th.

Second, I have sold almost all my chickens, along with other things I didn't want or need. I still have lots of little stuff for sale, but most of that will go in the yard sale I'll be having before I move.

Third, I put in my notice with my second job, the company I have been with for over 6 years. I'm done with all the stress of work, work, work. There's nothing in it for me anymore. I no longer have a drive for THAT kind of work.

And last, but certainly not least, I've experienced the Holy Ghost in a way I've never felt before. It's like I have a knowing that my time is short, however long that actually comes to be. There is an urgency in me, and it won't go away. The fire of the Lord is upon me.

I went back to Atlanta for my PET scan on Monday. This afternoon the Oncologist called to give me the results: the tumor is approximately 5-6 cm wide, and it has spread to the surrounding tissues as well as some of my pelvic lymph nodes. She will discuss this further with me when I go to see her on Monday morning.

This was not the news I wanted to hear, but it doesn't even matter. I am in a good place with the Lord, and it's a win-win for me. If I receive a miracle, that's great. If not, I get to go home to be with the Jesus my Lord! Either way, I now know my time is short, whether I live 6 months, 6 years, or 60 years. I have a work to do with the Lord right now, and I refuse to waste another minute!

In your prayers for me, simply pray that I will preach the Word and the Truth with BOLDNESS to all who will hear it. That's all I want.

The beauty of all this is knowing I'm ready to go, both to the mission field, and to Jesus. That is the true test, and the results are in! :)

Consultation

Thursday I went to Atlanta for my consultation with a GYN Oncologist. She did a basic exam, and talked to me about the next step, which is a PET scan. I'll be going back Monday for that scan. After that, I'll have a follow-up with the Dr within a week for her to give me the results of the scan, as well as her recommendation on how to proceed with "treatment." As I have already stated, I will not submit to chemotherapy. The Lord will not allow me to, and I don't want it. I have not decided whether or not I would agree to surgery (radial hysterectomy). I am seeking the Lord, and I will only do it if I feel a peace about it. Peace always comes when I make a decision according to the Lord's desire.

The results of the exam: She could clearly see the large mass coming from the cervix. From her assessment, it doesn't look like it has spread outside that immediate area. The PET scan will show if there is anything else in my body. I had originally thought my GYN had removed the entire mass during the D&C surgery, but that was incorrect. She only removed part of it. The oncologist will officially "stage" the cancer once she has evaluated the results of the scan.

The oncologist told me this is an aggressive cancer, which can spread quickly. Well, I serve a mighty God, and He can be pretty firm & aggressive when it comes to healing the sick and casting out demons. I know this from my own experience, and what my eyes have witnessed.

I have no fear of cancer, nor do I fear dying. I KNOW, without a shadow of a doubt, that when I die I will be with Jesus. However, I don't want to leave this world in this way, by sickness. I'd rather die a martyr, or an old woman asleep in her bed. I know that my God heals, and that He withholds nothing good & holy from those that belong to Him.

To everyone who reads this: You are all precious to the Lord, and He wants each of you all for Himself.

I want to put a very important question to each of you, for you to ponder when you are alone:. Do you know Jesus?

I mean really KNOW Him? Is He truly LORD and MASTER of your life? Do you consult Him about every decision you make? Do you talk to Him throughout the day? Do you act like Him, & talk like Him?

Before this experience, I never had a real relationship with the Heavenly Father. Coming so close to death as I did, and as I am now, has opened my eyes. I see things very clearly. There is an urgency in me now, that I've never felt before. There is an urgency to get to people to tell them the Truth about Jesus, that He alone can save them and deliver them from the hell they are putting themselves in. There is a strength in me, that I know is not my own, but that of God! There is a holy fear in me, for people who are lost. There is a strong desire in me now, to be Holy, to be separate from the world. I belong to God, and I can't look like, act like, eat like, or sound like the world.

Please, search out your hearts, seek your salvation with fear & trembling. You are not promised tomorrow. You do not know if your soul will be required of you this day. DO NOT WAIT. You may never get a chance to make right, to deal with the darkness of your past. DO IT NOW!!

The Lord is patiently waiting for you, but there will come a day when He will wait no longer, and He will come back for His people.

I love you all, and I fear God too much to NOT tell you the truth that is burning in my heart.

Lord Bless You all with His mercy and LIFE!

Changes

Amazing how one moment can change your life forever.

Ever since I was diagnosed with cancer, everything has changed. My eyes see the world differently. The desires of my heart have altered. My soul has been stirred in a way I never thought possible.

As I mentioned in my last post, I hate debt. It is a noose around my neck. I want free from it, and I have an opportunity to do so.

Before all this happened, I had my house up for sale. Within 2 weeks I had 2 buyers! One fell through, and the other offered me a contract. All I had to do was sign the contract, but then I got sick and everything was put on hold. The couple patiently waited over the last month as I went through this process.

Now, I am moving forward with the sale of my house. I'm waiting for the updated contract to sign; however, I've already begun selling furniture in anticipation of moving. I'm packing up what I want to keep, and I'm selling the rest.

Here's the plan: A close friend of ours has a place with about an acre of land, out in the country, but still close to where I work. Most of the land is woods. He has offered to let Dad and I build us each a little 1-room cabin on his property. This way, each of us will have our own space, and we'll only be in his house to wash clothes, take a shower, and eat our evening meals with him. He is offering willingly, and I am accepting gratefully.

You see, I don't want to get back in debt, not for a car or a house. Our friend's place is paid for, so there are only the utilities and taxes to be concerned with. Those I will split with him, to help ease the burden on him in exchange for him allowing us to live there.

I'm excited about the changes that are coming. Stuff is no longer important to me, and I can't wait to be free of it, so that I can get out there and minister to people. That's what I was made for, to minister, not to work myself to death and be in bondage for a house and transportation.

So, I ask you, what drives you? What are you working, slaving, and breathing for? What is most important to you in this life, this temporary life?